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Girl with a Pearl Earring
2007-02-19
昨天晚上做梦,梦见跟老林闹翻了。原因大概是什么意见不合,直到睡醒之前我们才和解,真是让人心惊肉跳。我才知道早我的潜意识里老林是这么一个威严的形象,大概只有梦才能昭示这些印象。做这个梦大概跟我昨天看的小说Girl with a Pearl Earring 有关,整个把自己套到小说里了。
不知为什么,写着写着作业想起Kelly Osbourne的日本之行了。想着她在日本的孤独和焦躁,我突然想,那些在耀华中学的外教真正的感受是什么呢?他们是不是也很孤独,很想回家?每次问他们觉得中国怎么样,他们都说很好,中国人很好,food很好,还有呢?嗯......Kelly Osbourne还是名人呢,还有钱呢,还有摄像机跟着呢,要是就一个普通人,到异乡会是什么样?
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新年快乐
2007-02-17
又过年了。来到这里已经一年多了,跟同学的联系却少之又少。也许联系本身不少,只是我的脑子出了问题。别人高三忙只是借口,大概更多的是我的恐惧。怕什么?我也不知道。怕电话两头的沉默,怕我们都从对方的声调里察觉出什么,还是什么什么......我又翻出了翻过几十遍的同学录,拿出电话,犹犹豫豫地,拨出了一个个电话。其实真的,有什么大不了的。只是开始比较难。不过电话真是难拨,8位的电话号码前面还要加7位数字,打出了又大多是占线,要么去上课了,或是干脆号码不存在,唉。老柴,love you。
我觉得朋友们的生活变了那么多,却又似乎一点没变。email里的,blog里的,信里的,电话里描述的情景,总能那么逼真地展现在眼前。我们基本上还是我们。生活中的一点点变化还是可以接受的......
好长时间没登陆blogbus了,才发现后台变了。很难说是不是更慢了,因为依blogbus的速度,似乎没法再慢了。学gmail自动保存草稿很好,再也不会写了半天一按错全没了,不过倒计时一跳一跳的真让人紧张,要怎么着似的。
How far are you from me, O Fruit?
I am hidden in your heart, O Flower.---- Stray Birds 86
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2006年的第一场大雪。。。
2006-10-30
昨天回到家太累了,倒头就睡,一直睡到今天上午九点。早上拉开窗帘,外面下着今年的第一场大雪。差十分十一点老妈出去上班,二十分钟后回来了,说是早到了一小时。我这才想起来今天要往回调一小时。
大雪天弄得我浑身不爽,昏昏欲睡。太多关于雪天的回忆,有好的,也有不好的。好的再也回不来了,坏的却挥之不去。不知为什么,对我来说这种反射总是那么容易建立。天气对我的心情影响极大,现在雪天也被加入到了我的黑名单里。小哭一下,才发现自己连哭都不会了。别扭。
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My Journal 2
2006-08-27
August 16, 2006
Today is aboriginal day and we learnt the aboriginal culture: their dance, their hand craft, their game, the trapping, and so on. It’s a relaxing day.
August 17, 2006
Today’s competitions are so intense, but it’s definitely a highlight too. In the evening was the result posting. We got No. 6 amongst all the crews and we were the first girl crew. In the evening several crew members started to leave.
August 18, 2006
Today the last few crew members left before 10:00. I was the only one left to catch a bus home. Jessie and Heather drove me to Edmonton and I went from there. I got on bus at 14:00 and got back in Calgary at around 17:40. I’m so excited to see mom again!
GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE:
1. You get paid when sitting in the sun, riding a helicopter, etc.
2. You’ll gain muscles.
3. You have a lot of time to think and imagine.
4. Food is free. You save a lot of money on food than at home.
5. You listen to English & speak English for one and a half months instead of Mandarin.
6. You learn how to set up tent, cook Mexican food, how western people eat, brush their teeth for the first time.
7. You taste real western breakfast, lunch & supper.
8. Your endurance towards the mosquitoes, moths, spiders is way improved.
9. You see the beauty of Albertan countryside a lot.
10. You listen to a lot of country music.
11. You go to rodeo for the first time. You go to concerts and rodeo for free when volunteering.
12. You get new belief and get stronger mentally.
13. You learn to wait, suffer and insist.
14. Never complain when low because you can’t go all the way down.
BAD THINGS ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE:
1. You get muddy and dirty and can’t shower for days.
2. It rains for days and you can’t get dried. Work in rain.
3. Sour muscles sometimes. Bad skin due to UV, wind and rain.
4. Miss everyone, feel lonely.
5. Threat of moose and bear.
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My Journal
2006-08-23
1st day, not bad. It was really hard to say goodbye with mom. & I miss my dad.
I spent a long long night hardly getting asleep, because I was so upset and it was such altitude and latitude that it was freezing in the bus. I got off bus at 06:45, and then I met Heather and Jessie. That's where my day started. We went to Tim Horton's to have a cup of coffee, and then we went to the provincial building, then airport to pick up Melissa. After that I helped washing the van. It was a Ford 15 seat van. Since we still got time, we went to the Mark’s Work Wear House.
At noon, we gradually got to know the other crew members. I saw them say goodbye and hug with their parents, and I don’t know what I was thinking.
Then we went to the provincial building again to do the paper work. After that we drove to the camp. 45 min from town.
We set up the tents and it was my first time.
July 5, 2006
We got up at 6:00 and started jogging at 6:30. After breakfast we set up the cabins and it rained right after we finished. After lunch we did a whole bunch of orientations—paper stuffs. Then we learnt using hand tools: axe, Pulaski…
After supper is bear awareness presentation. I started to really really miss my family and friends.
July 6, 2006
Melissa is leaving tomorrow and I don’t know why. Nothing big happened today.
July 7, 2006
Today we went to the tower in the morning. On the way there our van got stuck in the gravel and mud and we got down to push.
I don’t know how tall the tower is but I climbed to the top. It has turned sunny then and the view was awesome. Actually I took a nap under the tower when waiting for others. It was not scary at all when climbing. You just climb, don’t look up, don’t look down, then you are on the top.
In the afternoon we had two presentations: Mountain Pine Beetle and Recycle. It was really relaxing and we ate too much.
July 8, 2006
It’s Saturday today. We had breakfast at nine and went to town at 10:30. It was about 40 min on the way.
Peace River is a really tiny and tidy town in which only about ten blocks long and wide. Everyone went to the laundry first, dropped off our clothes and then several others and I went to the library. I checked my email but I got only two from my friends. Since the computer can’t display Chinese, I couldn’t read them. And I got two bills too. Then we just hang out to the post office, SAAN, Liquidation Store, and so on. I bought pajamas bottom.
In the afternoon we went to the pool and had a big shower with bathing suits on. I love the “slide” in there. We had pizza for supper and at night we all stayed in one cabin and ate candies, told sad and happy moments and took pictures. I went to bed at one.
July 9, 2006
You got ready, you go to a place, you meet problems, you overcome them, you get used to them, then you go back or go to a new place, and then do the same things.
We left for our trip at 11:00 and got to the park at around 12:00. We hiked in the park and it’s really tiny. After that we went to the town with “the world’s biggest bee”, and then headed back.
July 10, 2006
Today we went for the trail maintenance around the twin lakes. It’s been raining all day so it’s a really painful day. I hate to soak my wool socks with my feet in them in steel toe work boots half-full of water. My skin started to fall off after that.
But tonight we stayed in the trailer in Manning. Warm, dry with light.
July 11, 2006
This is an unlucky morning. I’m supposed to have shower this morning but all I got are super hot drops or nothing. Then I was late for leaving.
In the morning we went to the mill. It’s awesome. I suddenly realized how lucky I am. Very few people got a chance to see this. And I heard about JFW for the first time.
Then we went back for lunch. We got to know that we’ll have a fitness test in the afternoon and I was really nervous, so when we actually started I was almost exhausted. We learnt about hoses and pumps. Those are really guys and are so warm-hearted.
Then we started the test. Two miles, 30mins, 25lb. Sometimes you don’t have a reason, just do it. That’s what I am thinking these days. I changed so much. I’m stronger. I passed the type two fitness test by 29mins 10s. I ran quite a bit, which I shouldn’t. Then we saw the pictures of the fires and the crew.
When you stay in a place for long enough, you’ll love it, I thought on my way back to camp. Maybe I’ll be travelling all my life, and then I’ll love everywhere. I’ve met an old man on C-train before who has been to 73 countries. But I don’t like rush travels, you’ll have to stay in one place for long enough to love it.
It’s playing Coldplay’s “God put a smile upon your face” in the van now. I love it. I think if Jan is here he’ll recognize almost all the songs we play in the van and kitchen, but I can’t. And he’s not here.
I look at the bushes, farmlands, clouds, rain, houses and wires out of the window; they’re so adorable and neat.
I’ll get my driving licence as soon as I get back. Then I’ll be able to drive when I’m 17.
July 12, 2006
This morning we went to the park we went last Sunday to do the trail maintenance. I used sanvic today and then I switched to grass whip. We had lunch in the van and then started again. I worked with Rayanne and it’s so pleasant. I’m exhausted now.
July 13, 2006
This morning we went to the provincial building in Peace River and had a tour of the computer system. It’s awesome. It’s hard to imaging what’s the system like in Edmonton, New York, Beijing and Daxing’anling. Then we went to the warehouse, then Peace River airport to visit the tank base.
The main part is the helicopter base. We had a walk around and then had a trip to PWF118. It’s now UC—under control or BH—being held. It’s not as big as I thought because I underestimated the height of the helicopter which is 500 feet. The trees are like grasses and rivers are like creeks. I hardly recognized the huge barrels and fire-fighters if they were not wearing fluorescent Nomexes. The ground is all black and it’s smoking at some spots. Now I want to learn driving helicopters or planes too. But it’s dangerous…
July 14, 2006
Last night I studied a lot about the radio and telecommunication. This morning I drank too much coffee and was a little hyperactive. Dan came and gave us a presentation on telecommunication. I tried by myself the radio and learnt about the application a lot. I studied hard and it paid off. I got 4 wrong and 21 right and therefore got a certificate. Then we had our afternoon off. It’s a super sunny day.
Xiao Xiao’s Song Bird is good. I tried French braid this morning and it turned out good.
The concert started at 6:30. At the beginning I didn’t like it but later on we all stand at the front row. It’s too loud that I feel vibrate in my chest. I bought a CD and I almost bought their T-shirt. I also got signs on the disk.
When the Default went onto the stage things started to get out of control. People were squishing each other and sending people over the fence from over our head. It’s so dangerous in our position and part of a man fell on my face. I asked to get out of there and securities helped Karma and I over the fence. It was over 12 then and I was wearing only a tank top. So after we got out we danced and jumped to keep warm. The sky was not quite dark till after twelve. Although it’s a small concert but it’s really high.
The people went over the fence were sent out and they joined the crowd again. There were people went to police’s car, some were sent to paramedics. I don’t understand why they’re hurting others and enjoy squishing. We went back to the van at 01:30 and went to bed at 02:30. I bought a CD because the singer’s eyebrows and eyes look like TURTLE’s when he sings. That’s really paranoid.
July 15, 2006
This afternoon we worked with kids at Peace Fest. They’re so cute! The work time was 11:00~17:00.
In the evening we went to another concert. I bought Corb Lund’s CD because my friends love them. They sing about Alberta, travelling and countryside.
July 16, 2006
We’ve been here for…13 days and there’re 33 days left. We had the morning off and I helped with cooking lunch.
We went to Peace River for laundry and I bought two bottles of OFF insect repellent.
In the evening we started a fire and toasted marshmallows. We made marshmallow+chocolate+crackers.
July 17, 2006
Today we went for tree planting. We sat in the van till 12:00 and worked only from 13:00 to 15:00. Then we visited the tree planters’ camp. They are mostly tall and thin and strong men, but there’re also a few women. It’s a bit dirty. After that we went for another helicopter ride.
In the evening we slept in the tents in a camp site beside a river and it’s not nice at all.
July 18, 2006
Today we went visited the forest retention program. Now I hell there’s so much knowledge in this. It also has something to do with trade, development and economy. A company needs to see how another company, province or country’s policy’s like and then decide how to deal with it.
We learnt different researches and measurement of trees. I learnt to use infrared equipment to measure tree height. In the evening we had supper in the researchers’ camp, played soccer and Frisbee, and slept in Manning Fire Base. These researchers’ camp is so neat compared with tree planters’.
July 19, 2006
Today we went to a provincial park to do the trail maintenance. I used hand saw for the whole day. The park is 100km/h * 10min = 15km west of Peace River airport. I worked super hard and was super hungry at noon. But I didn’t have any dessert. This park is really neat.
I sit in the van, and let my mind go to everywhere it wants to go. It goes through my room, opens the doors of my bookshelf; it rides in all those streets; it goes back to my classroom, sits on my seat. A lot of peoples’ faces, laughing faces, funny faces, small motions. If she’s here, she’ll be sitting right beside me, talking to me, or we may sleep together when tired.
July 20, 2006
Today we went to the Winagami reservation area we hiked and worked in to paint a shelter and do some grass whipping. In the morning I used the roller to paint. I think it shouldn’t be painted all brown because it makes the room look dark and small. In the afternoon I did the grass whipping and I worked to death.
The owner fo the area is john. He’s a nice person. He preserved the area to educate the next generation about nature. I can feel myself getting stronger in arms.
July 21, 2006
In the morning we did some work in the camp. After that we had a presentation on the career, starting at 9:00. In the afternoon, starting at 13:30, we had a presentation on search and rescue. I find and opportunity to volunteer. It’s hot and the UV is so strong.
After supper we went to see the movie Pirate of the Caribbean. It’s not bad.
July 22, 2006
Today I got up at 7:20. I went running from 7:40 to 8:20 and therefore got wet all over. We set off at about 11:00. I dropped off my laundry and then went to the library to check emails. Then I went to the post office and bought 8 stamps and sent two cards and one letter. After that I went to Value Drug Mart to buy the journal I loved yesterday. I buy them only because I like them. They’re very classical and one of them is a Mother’s journal. I planned to use it or give it as gift. In the afternoon we went swimming in Peace River. It’s the second time I swim in a river. It feels quite special.
Later in the afternoon we went shower in the warehouse. After supper I went for another two runs.
July 23, 2006
This morning I went walking to the sign and back. The presentation “wildfire orientation” lasted from 11:00 to 16:00. The presenter is awesome. I love travelling and I think we should travel as much as possible when we’re young. Experiences build up and that’s what I want.
It’s about 30 Celsius and everyone else got burned. I don’t think it’s hot at al. that’s the good thing about Canada.
July 24, 2006
This morning I was too tired to run. I did too much work out and didn’t sleep and eat much in the last two days. I had a big breakfast and the presentation started at 9:00. I don’t feel as good this time. In the afternoon we helped in the warehouse. In the evening is organization and Kara’s presentation.
July 25, 2006
Today I went for First Aid course again. Nothing interesting.
July 26, 2006
Today I went to the First Aid again. I passed the test and got 3 wrong. After the class I received the parcel with my ipod, charger and math book in.
July 27, 2006
Today we went to the warehouse again and did the painting of 4 bear traps. They were painted white. The man was soooo good and his two sons are so cute. I also saw the dead wolves, moose and deer shot illegally lying in the fridge. I didn’t work a lot but felt very tired.
At noon we also tried the type one fitness test a little bet. I need some practices for sure…
July 28, 2006
Today we went to the provincial building first for a little bit of orientation, then we went to the Heart River to try electric fishing. It was fun and I caught several. In the afternoon we went fishing in a pond beside the highway connecting the camp and the town. My castings suck. I was totally wasting the worms.
In the evening, parents started to come and pick up crew members.
July 29, 2006
Today is family day of our program. After 10:00 there’re only Kara, Caitlin, Jessie and I in the camp. We drove to Peace River town for the laundry, bought some food for supper, then had the lunch in a Chinese restaurant. The lunch was one of the worst foods I’ve ever had. It’s totally junk food and a waste of &9049. and it’s a shame of Chinese food.
After lunch we drove to Manning for the rodeo. I got two very good videos. It was not so exciting but pretty traditional. I missed Calgary Stampede this year because of this job. Kara and Caitlin said Calgary stampede is way more interesting than this.
But anyway I really enjoyed it. It’s a bit dirty. Before 7:00 we went to the trailers where the horses and riders live. It stinks there but we touched the horses.
At night I checked email and blogs of my friends. There’s so much homework for my classmates right now apparently. Before sleeping in the warm trailer I had a hot shower.
July 30, 2006
This noon we all went back to the camp and all the families had lunch together. In the afternoon we danced, and all relaxed. After supper we watched the movie “benchwarmer”, it’s dumb. Then it’s relaxed the whole night.
July 31, 2006
The new week began. Today we went to a provincial park to learn land assessment. We learnt about bird, grass, plant ID, and taking town records.
We went down the river and then crossed the river by ferry. It’s really fun. But the day is kind of tedious.
August 1, 2006
Today is not a very good day. We went to work for ACA to take town the wire fences. We use wire scissors to pull out the staples and others roll up the wires I cut my finger and got stung by a bee for the first time in my life before we left. It really hurts. But I was ok one hour later.
August 2, 2006
Today we went to the same place to do the same thing. After that we went to the reservation area to take down a sign. The new dumped the wood into the landfill. It’s so dirty and there’s no treatment. In the evening we took group pictures (official).
August 3, 2006
Today we started at over 11:00 I did a little bit of measuring, using a ruler and a vernier. In the afternoon we continued measuring. I was all soaked after the day. In the evening I tried walking with the wajax bag. It took me 34min but the bag is pretty light, way lighter than 45lb.
August 4, 2006
Today was almost the same as last day. In the morning I used brush saw. It was so tiring because its vibration makes my head hurt. In the afternoon was fertilizing, which is fairly easy. After all those we tried to chase a deer that appeared in the trials but didn’t find it. Then supper. Then Rayanne’s and Caitlin’s presentations. We learnt roping and soccer.
August 5, 2006
Volunteer at rodeo in the afternoon, 11:00~15:00. Back at 19:00.
August 6, 2006
We stayed at the camp in the morning and set off to the town right after lunch. I bought toothpaste, toothbrush, candies, and my costume—a pair of shorts. But they’re too big and I think it looks stupid to wear them. So I changed them into a boxer. I was amazed by myself. I’m really super.
August 7, 2006
We left for the farm after lunch. It’s on top of a hill around the town. It’s so beautiful there especially the big house. That may be one of my dreams. Then we went for horse riding. I was in the third group. I couldn’t control the horse at all… at the beginning. Then everything was ok after it got going. It always wants to eat, eat, eat… and never want to run. So we blocked others’ way. Karma’s horse was almost biting mine’s butt. But I think it’s pretty exciting and they’re beautiful. After riding I helped brushing the horse.
After supper we lit fire, had snack, played game and shared the challenge, best thing and the person we appreciate together. I felt good again. I slept very well at night.
August 8, 2006
Today we left the farm after breakfast. We started the chainsaw course right after we got back. The presenter is Joe Lyon. Then we practised cutting cookies, had the test, and got the certificate. We had half an afternoon off for packing up for the next 3 days. I had a shower, one of the very few ones. The free time, free time and free time.
August 9, 2006
Today we went to a provincial park that is very close to Manning Fire Base. We cut the aspens and other trees that affect the growth of spruces. I used a sanvic to cut trees. It’s amazing. It’s a day’s hard work.
At night we stayed in another provincial park that is 45mins away from Manning. It was really beautiful and is probably the most beautiful one I’ve seen this summer.
August 10, 2006
Today we’re doing trail maintenance in the morning and putting up signs in the afternoon. I don’t feel like moving at all because of yesterday’s work. The trail in the morning is really nice and is a bit tropical. The trail we put up signs on was wide and flat, very neat. The manager is a nice person. I love the lynx and coyote fur he showed us. We had supper and stayed in the Manning Fire Base at night.
August 11, 2006
Today was an amazing day. We had breakfast at 7:30 and started type one fitness test at 10:05. It was not a comfortable trip. 45lbs, 3 miles, 48mins. After the walk we did the other two—pump & hose and weight lift. It was not too bad though. At around 14:30 we said goodbye to Manning and headed camp. Then it’s a relaxing Friday evening. Shawna is leaving tomorrow, how sad.
August 12, 2006
This morning we stayed in camp, returned the Nomex and first aid kit. After lunch we went to town. I did laundry and bought moist wipes. I’m so happy to see emails from friends. On our way back we went to two abandoned farms. I took some pictures. They’re amazingly good.
August 13, 2006
This morning after breakfast we did a survey/evaluation, and then worked a bit in the kitchen. Then we went in town for hiking. We climbed a hill without going down trails. It was steep, over 40 degree. Then we had pizza for lunch at 15:00. Then we swam in Peace River. We came back after going to IGA.
August 14, 2006
This morning we took down everything we set up at the beginning of the summer—bear fence, cabins, and tools, things in the kitchen and others, just like how we set them up. It was also a raining day when we set them up. It’s really sad.
In the afternoon we went to the warehouse to return everything. From then on we had almost nothing. We had shower in the evening and then practised the dance. We had a sleep over in the kitchen that night. Everyone pulled their sleeping bags on the floor and it was sweet.
August 15, 2006
This morning we collected everything together and left for Nojack at 09:00. It was a busy morning. We sat in the van the whole day except for the lunch and dance practice at noon in Fox Creek. At around 17:00 we showed up in the pirate costume and it was great fun. In the evening was the skits and our dancing is definitely a highlight.







